Is this real life? Is this just a fantasy?
We've set up a routine and looks like we're ready to settle into daily life in Riyadh. Baby wakes up at an unsociable hour, Husband goes to work, I drop Toddler off in nursery, and after grabbing an iced coffee, I aimlessly float around the compound most mornings while also feeling extremely stressed and anxious about all the things I feel like I should be doing. Due to the weather still being too hot to bear most days, I mostly only ever go outside early in the morning or later in the evening when there's a pleasant breeze and the weather is perfect for a leisurely stroll.
Having time for myself is a foreign concept, and not spending every minute of every day productively has exacerbated my anxiety. Side note: similarly to the majority of my generation, I still have a tendency to equate the concept of productivity with working or having a job/side hustle. It's hard to undo years of conditioning and realise that my self-worth does not depend on having a job.
I work very hard on trying to ward off cabin fever and not falling into the trap of developing unhealthy habits. My sleep has deteriorated slightly, and we don't eat as well as we used to. I turn to sugary snacks and drinks to give me an energy kick that gets me through the day. These tend to be the first warning signs that I need to be more mindful of my health before I become more lethargic. Here are a few things had a positive effect on my mental health. These activities are all based on the five pillars of mental wellbeing and help me relax and feel connected and mindful.
Staying Grounded and Organised
Back in my previous life at work I used to be well organised and found immense pleasure in ticking tasks off my many to-do lists. However, this has somehow never translated to my personal life. I catch myself double-booking activities, mixing up dates, not being able to keep track of what has to be done around the house and ending up feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Sometimes I don't even know what day it is, since our weeks start on Sundays now, unlike back home.
I've been using Google calendar to note down everything for years. It really helps, especially when I don't forget to set reminders more than 10 minutes in advance. I also have a physical planner. I diligently buy a new journal every year, but somewhere between April and June I tend to give up on it, and found that a weekly planner works better for me. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, looking at it helps me focus on what needs to be done immediately, and not stress about other things.
Staying Active
I set out to get into the best shape of my life. I started with light exercise a few times a week, but I'm still trying to find my ideal rhythm.I haven't been particularly physically active since before the pandemic, but long daily walks outside and yoga classes once or twice a week have kept me in an alright shape. I've been neglecting both since our arrival, so it's a huge challenge just dragging myself to the gym most of the time. Sadly, I have yet to find access to a good yoga class that works with my schedule, but I'm working on it. There are plenty of incredible private tutors out there, but I found that I prefer a group setting to keep me motivated.
I haven't committed to any activities yet that I can see myself consistently doing on the long-run, but instead of worrying about it, I take it as an opportunity to try new, different things until I one sticks. Luckily, there's plenty to pick from in the compound from pilates to aqua fitness, so I'm spoiled for choice.
Learning
I signed up for a short online course on a topic I'm interested in but know nothing about. I'm excited to get back into the swing of learning, activate the creative part of my brain and broaden my horizons. My mom always told me to never stop learning, and she'll be happy to read that I'm finally heeding her advice.
I have compiled a whole range of topics and skills I want to learn, and I keep adding to it regularly. This list also reminds me how lucky I am to have the resources to be able to actually do so. It also helped me realise that I'm naturally drawn to imaginative, hands-on activities like pottery, cookie decorating, floristry and learning to play a musical instrument, to give a few examples. This helps explain why I have so often felt unfulfilled in my career - maybe it had to do with the lack of creativity I so seem to crave.
Socialising and Connecting
I wouldn't say that I'm an introvert, but I don't feel one hundred percent confident when interacting with people I just met, and given the choice I would stay home more often than not. As I've said before, expat life can be very isolating. Even as someone who enjoys their own company, I feel a much stronger urge to get to know people and talk to friends than before. Because I don't work at the moment, I don't have a ready-made social circle. All of my friends and broader family are thousands of miles away. I have to go out of my way to make new acquaintances and seize (almost) every opportunity to chat to people.
Fortunately, through my new activities and husband's work I have met some wonderful people and we have a relatively busy social calendar that allows me to leave the house and talk face to face to other adults. This experience forced me to take a leap and come out of my shell.
Helping Someone
Two people planning to relocate to Saudi Arabia have reached out to me via Instagram seeking advice and asking about life in the Kingdom. We're still very new here ourselves, but seeing how sharing our experiences have helped ease some minds about relocating here made me so happy.
A good friend of mine (the best, really) has also recently asked me to help her learn English. Now, I'm not a qualified ESL teacher, but during uni I have dabbled in teaching before realising it really isn't something I particularly enjoy doing. However, helping someone I love so dearly when I have the capacity is a different matter. I find so much enjoyment in looking up resources, learning about teaching and coming up with lesson plans, then seeing her understand new concepts and advance is really rewarding.
A lot of the time it still doesn't feel like we found our place here, but our new life becomes more and more familiar and comfortable with every passing day.
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