It's been a year since we first arrived in the Kingdom. An exciting, interesting, difficult, enriching experience that has so far brought many challenges and tears, but even more joy and fulfilment than we could've ever anticipated. This is a continuation of my previous post about the lessons I learned so far living as an expat.
I will never fit in with the locals. And that's OK!
Being a blonde, Western woman in Riyadh comes with its own unique challenges. Although times are rapidly changing as the country is modernising and I don't feel pressured to cover my hair or even wear an abaya, it's very important to me to be respectful in the way I dress and present myself outside of the compound. Nobody has ever made me uncomfortable during my time here, but I am acutely aware that I don't blend in either. From what I can see, most Saudi women still prefer wearing a niqab, although younger generations can more and more often be seen ditching it in favour of more colourful, less conservative hijabs and abayas.
I will suggest to whoever asks before coming to the Kingdom to bring modest clothing. Modesty can mean different things to different people, but the rule of thumb is in order to not offend anyone to wear loose fitting clothing, make sure the neckline isn't too low, and legs are covered. Lately I see more and more women baring their arms in t-shirts but I personally prefer to throw on a shirt to cover my arms. I love flowy maxi dresses, extra long shirt dresses (if they're too short, I wear yoga pants underneath), jumpsuits or linen trousers and matching tops. I didn't have to buy a lot of things when we arrived, but found myself investing more in clothes made of natural fabrics (which tend to run more expensive around here) and button ups. In this climate feeling relaxed and comfortable is everything to me and it was such a pleasure to discover how modest fashion can help achieve this while still being able to look put together and current.
Abayas are also really practical and a very easy, stylish solution to just throw over whatever I'm wearing. I bought a few different ones in a variety of colours and usually keep one in the car and one in my shopping bag. Just make sure they don't get stuck in escalators, that can lead to very uncomfortable and embarrassing moments.
It's Relatively Easy to Make Friends (If you're in a Compound)
We opted to move to a compound because we really liked the appeal of having everything ready for us, making the transition as smooth as possible. As I said before, it's not just the furnished housing and the facilities that make life on a compound easier. When we first arrived here there was also a welcoming and supportive community waiting for us. Larger places, like ours, have the resources to really put their residents needs front and centre and that means organising things that help create and keep a tight knit community.
Even the more shy among us can make meaningful connections as more seasoned expats will usually notice when a newcomer looks lost or perhaps in need of a chat, some guidance or coffee and there is always a kind person that reaches out. This is exactly how I first found a group of open minded and friendly people who helped us navigate those initial first weeks and introduced us to a wider circle of new friends.
For newcomers living in the city there are also more and more resources available. One can always find likeminded people through hobbies like sports – for example Riyadh Women Getting Fit is a fast-growing and fun community. You don't have to be very active to join, they have walking groups and fitness activities for all abilities at different times during the week. There are also book clubs like Wadi Book Club who organise monthly meetings via their WhatsApp group. There are plenty other WhatsApp and Facebook groups catering to different interests and people as well.
Location is Everything in Riyadh
We learned the hard way that traffic is famously terrible in Riyadh, especially in the evening when the city starts buzzing, despite city planners favouring drivers by having built a network of well-connected motorways to get around town. The lack of well established public transport system is also to blame for this. Most people therefore end up living closer to their workplace or school.
Another reason I can think of is that the population continues to grow at a rapid pace and women are also allowed to drive since 2018 so the number of cars on the roads has exponentially exploded. The rules around obtaining a driver's license are a lot more relaxed than in Europe and while there are hefty fines for minor violations, enforcement is somewhat lacking. Therefore, erratic driving and minor accidents are sadly very common on the roads of Riyadh. I got a lot of my driving experience here so today I can confidently say that I'm actually more comfortable with the local system than the one in London.
Stand Storm Season
We expected the extreme temperatures during the Summer. We heard about the dry air and experienced nosebleeds before we invested in top notch humidifiers in every room. We looked up the pollution indexes. What took us by surprise however, was that sand storms aren't just a minor inconvenience that make it impossible to keep the house dust free, but they also carry a variety of viruses and bacteria. For the better part of Spring and Summer dust storms are very common and you'll often see the Riyadh skyline painted yellow. Dust can get so thick that it looks like fog at night, lowering visibility and slowing traffic. Due to the lack of rain and constant desert winds it doesn't really settle so we just have to ride it out indoors. Air purifiers help a lot, but expect the filters having to be changed more often than elsewhere. These Dyson 3-in-1 machines cost an arm and a leg but they monitor and adjust not just the humidity but also the air quality and are very quiet so overall a great investment.
Customs and shipping times
Like most people living in big cities, we used to be heavily reliant on online shopping and being used to the convenience of same day or next day delivery. You can imagine my face when I realised my orders would take weeks to arrive or get cancelled last minute. Pair it with an unreliable delivery driver and you can bet that your item will be returned to the sender. Customs charges also aren't always disclosed in advance so I now make sure I have enough cash on me to pay when my items actually turn up. This doesn't apply to DHL who I found the most reliable shippers who also allow online payment for any outstanding customs/VAT prior to delivery.
The upside of this is that I now think twice before placing an order and only shop online for things that we definitely need (and can't get in a brick and mortar shop).
+1: Get a SIM Card at the Airport on Arrival
Nobody told us we won't be able to sign up for a mobile phone contract before receiving our residence permits and Absher account (the Ministry of Interior's electronic customer service platform). I ended up having to wait a few weeks before I was able to get a hold of my own Saudi number. A good way around this for visitors and new residents alike is to purchase a temporary SIM card at the airport. STC and other large providers have shops located at the International Arrivals terminal of King Khalid Airport, and signing up there can save some headache down the line.